LOVER

( Our inner Lover has the ability to)   Connect and engage: with own emotions, creativity and
sexuality; with other people at an intimate level; with the wonder and beauty of the world, and with the spiritual dimension beyond and inside self. 

How about we shine light on the shadow some more ? 
Shining Light on the shadow 
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The Deflated Lover:

The Stoic
Your Deflated Lover manifests the following characteristics.
•
Fears being alone or abandoned (gets small)
•
Has a hard time having fun
•
Prefers not to explore emotion
•
Has no need or desire to pursue art, beauty, wonder
•
Has a hard time connecting with others at a personal or intimate level
•
Tends to be unfeeling or to go numb
•
Denies the need to connect with the spiritual dimension
•
Tends to
be distant or alienated from others
•
Is sexually inactive or impotent
•
Tends to feel vulnerable, like a lost child
•
May create and then hide in a fantasy world
•
Is easily shamed.

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The Inflated Lover:
The
Addict
Your Inflated Lover manifests the following characteristics.
•
Fears being alone or abandoned (gets big)
•
Is prone to addictions (e.g., money, possessions, food, pleasure, work)
•
Can be easily flooded emotionally
•
Tends to be consumed or overwhelmed by his/her emotions or desires
•
Is sexually restless, perhaps unfaithful
•
Tends to be “swept away” in relationships
•
Falls in love, and out of love easily
, or forces his/her love on others
•
Finds himself/herself in stressful, unhealthy, or codependent relationships
•
Lives his/her life in emotional extremes
•
Lives only in the moment
; seeks the ultimate and continuous “high”.
•
Is prone to fanaticism or idolatry
; is easily consumed by causes
•
Seems to be always searching, but not knowing what he/she is looking for

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The mature lover is able to experience and grieve loss.

The deflated shadow Lover is the Stoic, numb to his own feelings, especially grief. He/she is ambivalent to ,or detached from any spiritual dimension, and unable or unwilling to connect with others.
 In contrast, the inflated shadow Lover is the Addict, overwhelmed by his feelings, obsessed with the pursuit of pleasure or passion, fanatically for or against the spiritual dimension, and either neurotic or codependent in his relationships.

The Mature Lover
Your Mature Lover manifests the following characteristics.
•
Embraces his/her emotions
•
Appreciates beauty and wonder for its own sake, without having to understand it or analyze it
•
Appreciates music, dance and the arts
•
Can feel sensual without feeling ashamed
•
Honors and expresses his/her soul
; can celebrate life
•
Takes time for self renewal
•
Can be alone, quiet, reflective, introspective, contemplative
•
Has an aligned, healthy connection with the spiritual dimension
•
Is open to new relationships
•
Likes to connect at a deep, personal level with other people
•
Can “see” into the heart of others with understanding and compassion
•
Is open to his/her desires
•
Has a healthy appetite for life
•
Exudes a healthy sexual self
-
awareness
•
Has a healthy awareness of his/her body
•
Is spontaneous, playful
•
Is nurturing, empathetic, welcoming
•
Can grieve
.

http://www.oncourseinternational.com/onlineLibrary/pdfs/Inner_Advisors_Overview_Document.pdf .