Chapter 4 rough draft

Chapter4

I have very recently lost a dear friend of mine due to suicide .

My friend who took their own life yesterday  was dealing with Ptsd and had been since moving back to the states after serving 6 years in marine corps . He would drink and take pills to deal with the physical , emotional , and mental stress that he was dealing with . I did my best to be there in every way i knew i could. There have been some moments in my life where i think i could of been there more , however all i could really do is to love and encourage him , reminding him of our true self within . I really feel for his family and know what they are going through . I am grateful he is not in pain , yet i know that i am still dealing with this every day and it seems like a lot to hold and a lot to let go off. I am awake and alive, connected with all that is , and it really hurts sometimes when i feel this pain . There is nothing that i want more than to see people shining bright , living and co -creating abundance , being free and feeling authentically fulfilled .

The fact is  I still am watching  friends and family killing themselves . I feel the pain of mother and have my whole life , and it hurts . i have tried to cover over the pain and let it go , however i can not just medicate it away ignore it . I am tired of friends and family dying and when i get emotional and touched by their pain to not feel it within every cell of my body , I am after all everything . I am you . It hurts when me when we kill ourselves because we have forgotten who we are . I will not apologize for the pain i feel .

This is the reason why i am writing this book . I am writing this book to help anyone and everyone help themselves . I want to share my life experience and reflections, insights , research so that it may help , even if its just one person .

I know who i am and why i am here . I can not deny who i am , why i am here , nor can i deny the feelings i have and the level of intensity that my life is . It is simply this experience and there is no thing i can do about it , except for managing myself , keeping centered and balanced regardless of critics or what anyone or else says or does . I am my own master in this incarnate form , just as you are . I can not , nor will i deny my sovereignty , my divine and natural born right to be free, to create and live in abundance and harmonic resonance with all of life .  I will not apologize for feeling emotion and sharing that emotion with the world . I am  response able to manage the energy in motion (emotion) where it does bring harm upon others, or harm upon myself , for we are all one so everything i do to another i am doing to myself as i am we and we are you .

Here is now, and you are 1 . You are 1 and You are 1 ,You are 1  and  You are one . Here and now , and now , and now . Do you know exactly what i mean by this , really ? I would like to refer back to what i briefly discussed in Chapter 3 on the illusion of separation .

What is the greatest illusion ? For me it is the illusion of separation. When we really know who we are , we know that yes we appear to be separate , yet we are all interconnected in such a way where i feel others pain sometimes so much it is hard to be around a lot of people for long periods of time . I am very open and receptive to that which is outside of my own form .

When i observe friends and family or anyone else killing themselves at what ever pace , it hurts, and it hurts alot . I can literally feel others pain and it is not pleasant or something i want to have to deal with all night into the morning , however when i have run from own nature , sedated my emotions and took substances to escape , i never escaped. I realized that we can run from ourselves, however we can never get away from ourselves  , as everywhere we run too and go , there we are . Everywhere i go is here and everyone and everything is I . We are all reflecting the various aspects of the eternal self . This is why everywhere you turn you are looking into the mirror of our being .

Do i need to reiterate ? WE ARE HERE NOW ! The choice we make now either brings us closer to living abundance or ……..